Apologia

Now the experts would say that the two things, training and loving, are not mutually exclusive. Conventional wisdom says that uncivilized creatures are far from happy, and those that cohabit with the uncivilized quickly become UNHAPPY! Trust me when I say that communing with nature is not my forte and bringing a mongrel into my home is dangerously close to resembling Jane Goodall's research with Gorilla's. Unfortunately I lack Jane's patience and serenity the key elements to having a successful relationship with animals. My new puppy, Annie, who vaguely resembles a little monkey, has decided that she prefers cuddles to commands. Who can blame her. I would much rather curl up in the arms of a loved one, lazing away the hours as opposed to sitting auspiciously waiting for some overgrown beast to allow me to "Come." Who among us would choose to take care of our bodily functions on command, and in public no less. Add to that the humiliation of someone forcing you to w...

I really hate shopping for cars, especially used cars. Not only do I know nothing about automobiles, but even if I did I am confident that the salespeople would find a way to conceal any flaws. Each time we pull into a car dealership to look at a car for me - we spend 1/2 the time trying to talk the salesman into not following us through the parking lot. It requires communication techniques that verge on that of an Emmy award winning actor. Thank goodness my lack of mechanical affinity is made up for in acting prowess. The first rule of "salesman avoidance" is to greet him or her and accept the business card they offer. This may seem counter intuitive, but actually if you avoid contact they will hunt you down like prey. They assume that it was an error that no one made contact with you, and will expend enormous effort to rectify the situation. The second rule is to assure them that you are not there to buy today, but when you are ready to purchase you will be sure to call the...

Three days, 10 hours, 60 forms, 2 tearful breakdowns, and 1 tirade and finally all three of my children are enrolled in their new schools. What has become of the educational system in the United States of America when a young woman who enjoys learning and repeatedly chooses challenging courses is required to drop AP European History, Latin, Orchestra, and Creative Writing so she can fulfill state requirements of PE, World history, World Geography, Technology, and Speech? What is even more shocking is that Emma's new school gives a full PE credit for an 18 week/90 minute class of Football, Cheerleading, or Dance. Since when did these subjects begin being taught during the school day? I thought they were supposed to be extra curricular activities - but not here in Texas. Emma has opted to take her PE requirement (she already has 2 credits but needs 1/2 more) outside of school so she can take academic courses during the day. To our amazement her course will be offered as a cor...

Tonight my family and I went to see the movie "The Blind Side." What a lovely story with a timeless message. There were many moments when I found myself biting my lip and holding back tears; tears of joy, pain, and every emotion in between. I was most struck by how the Tuohy family met Micheal Oher and began their unusual family journey. Some may believe that Mrs. Tuohy was a philanthropist that scoured the city's underprivileged areas looking for "needy" youths to help. In reality she drove past a sight that was so unusual it made forced her to take a second look. That picture was an extremely large black young man walking along the side of a road of her upper middle class community, on a cold, rainy night. Her first step was to stop her car and ask the young man where he was going. When her told her the gym - she turned her car and headed off in the opposite direction. Problem was that the answer didn't "feel" correct. The second choice she made ...

Tomorrow is the day that I have to register my kids in school. There is no delaying it any longer. I am amazed at how sick to my stomach I feel. Not only am I depressed that I will not have them for company but that dread is compounded with quite a large dose of phantom sympathy nerve pangs. It is reminiscent of their first day of schools. Emma's first day was especially poignant due to the fact she was the first to leave the nest. It was doubly worse for her because we moved from Scotland to Texas halfway through her kindergarten year. (Hmm - is that a pattern I'm detecting?) As if once wasn't enough for her, she got to do it twice. She was brave and didn't allow anyone to see her lip quiver, but she was terrified. I found her curled in her bedroom the night before school began and she was frozen solid. She said, "Mom I really think I'd rather stay home with you, Ian and Maddie, but if you think it is best for me, I will trust you and go." That has been E...

Today we returned to the Fellowship of the Woodlands. The kids and I like to refer to it as "the Hollywood Church." It is full of entertainment, talent, energy, and GOD! It is a pleasure to attend and I am thankful that it is so readily available to our family. Whoever decided that church needed to be serious, stuffy, and intellectual must be the same person who invented school. One of the most scarring memories of life was entering Kindergarten and being indoctrinated into "the acceptable travel path" to and from the classroom. Our teacher had predetermined which of our two classroom doors was for incoming traffic and the other by default was the exit. I, however, felt that she was mistaken and tried to share with her the err of her ways. She was not amused and we spent the next 9 months debating the various pros and cons of the argument. This topic was never fully resolved which led to an ensuing 12 year career in which I felt unheard and misunderstood. It was my ...

We are thrilled at the addition of our new family member. Her name is Annie and she is a mixed breed. One of her parents was a Chesapeake Bay Retriever and we think the other could have been a Lab or Poodle. She was born on November 24, 2009. This time training a puppy appears to be much easier, because we have 5 parents. (I wonder how long it will be thrilling to take a puppy out to potty?) All of us have read chapter 5 entitled "Your puppy's first night at home." We are armed and ready to go - I predict no sleep for anyone for at least a week. It is a joy to watch each of the kids "parent" her. Ian has no willpower. If she whines he covers his ears in pain, and says "She's only a baby, we can't just let her cry." I love his sensitivity. He has always been extremely compassionate and kind, yet seriously lacking in discipline. It will be interesting to see if he recognizes the benefits of good discipline in Annie's development. Emma is the ...

My children are on their way home today. Our travels began on December 20th at 11pm from Kuala Lumpur and will finally end January 8th at 6pm. They've experienced 2 flight cancellations, 3 plane delays, 10 lost bags, a Level 1 snow emergency, laryngitis, horrible colds, and subfreezing temperatures sans winter coats/gloves/and hats. Their emotions have spanned the gamut from extreme sadness to extreme joy, passing every combination in between. To label their journey extensive would be a definite understatement. I am glad we are taking this journey together!

Like Dorthy I hear myself chant the mantra, "There's no place like home." But for the Miller family, "home" has been an allusive term. We have been gypsies for our entire 20 year marriage; one year in Pittsburgh Pennsylvania, two years in Edmond Oklahoma, two years in Lafayette Louisiana, five years in Stonehaven Scotland, five years in The Woodlands Texas, three years in Granville Ohio, two years in Kuala Lumpur Malaysia. For those of you keeping track that is seven homes - and while we enjoyed each and every location - only one felt like our home. It is time for the vagabonds to grow up. No more "hit the ground running...", "all troops on deck", "all for one and one for all", "move in - secure the area - make your mark - get out stealthfully in the dark of night." All of these phrases have been quoted by my family several times in an attempt to find humor in the midst of the chaos called moving. My hope is that "hom...

"A rose by any other name would smell as sweet..." does the old saying hold true for DOGS? Our family is in the midst of many newism (new house, new schools, new friends, new cars) but the best is a new pet. Ever since the day we had to watch Molly, our six year old golden retriever, get into the Jeep Cherokee with a teacher friend of mine - we have waited for the day when we could adopt a new doggy into our family. Our home is not complete without a canine brother or sister. As the time draws closer it is vital that are prepared with the PERFECT name. We have done this several times in the past; Dogs: Ezekiel, Katie, Max, Maggie, Molly, Mac and Cats: Rocky, Adrianne, Lunar, Mim, Piccolo. In the past my husband and I were the masters of the naming game. There have been times when one of our three kids erroneously thought they may have a say in the process, but our superior intellect (only due to the children's lack of education combined with our superior persuasive skills...

Snakes have evoked a visceral reaction in me since I was 5 years old. I remember my Grandparents had a creek running through her backyard. To call the "creek" a creek is a gross exaggeration - it was really more like a ditch with a couple inches of stagnate water lying at the base of it. Given a particularly rainy period the ditch filled to a height of 6 inches. When my brother and I weren't seated directly in front of Grandma's television with a sack full of cheese puffs, we could be found digging in the creek for "mud bugs" or worms. I was never particularly "outdoorsy" so the nature encounter never lasted more than a typical 1970's commercial break, but I did enjoy the uniqueness of the experience. My Grandmother was protective of her clan and had a parenting style that was heavy on bribery combined with just a touch of psychological warfare thrown in for good measure. In fact we gave her a kitten as a present shortly after my Grandfather di...

I managed to remain disciplined and did not eat until 8 am on Jan. 4th, but the next phase of the fast (eating only veges and fruit until January 30th) lasted all of 12 hours. However I believe it was the most joyous new year's violation I have ever commited. Allow me to explain... Today Brian and I drove to south Houston to look at a car we had been scoping on the Internet. We have spent the last week "window shopping" for a house and 2 new cars. During that 7 days there were many precarious moments when one or the other of us almost caved and spent almost double our budgeted amount for a car. Thanks to maturity combined with a healthy dose of divine discipline, there never came a time when both of us succumbed at the same time. We loved the car and actually ended up buying it - no we did not run out to celebrate at the nearest Pappa's restaurant which led to the breaking of the fast- that would be very materialistic of me and definitely not "fast breaking...

Thirty-six hours into my fast and I find myself rationalizing that the last food I ate was actually at 9pm on January 1st, since it is now 8pm on January 3rd I should be allowed to eat in one hour. While I admit that this argument is legitimate legally, it strays far from the spirit of the law. Allow me to explain the deal I made with myself - on January 2nd I began a fast that would allow me; to start the year in a transparent way which would cement my commitment to a new me, introduce discipline into my daily life, facilitate good health, and delay gratification in an attempt to learn patience. I decided to follow a fast process I heard a minister speak about on KSBJ, the local christian radio station, that entailed fruit/vegetable juice and water for the first 48 hours. (I broadened that to include unsweetened hot tea - it's a little chilly here and Brian goes to Starbucks a lot) The rest of the month I eat fruits and vegetables. I am committed to the process and know that it is...

The world moves at a fast pace, but not this girl... I am determined to slow down and have begun my new year by fasting. (I love the ironic symbolism) January will look differently this year and so will I. For almost four decades :) I have believed that discipline was a dirty word; a parenting tool used to reign in unruly children. Since I was one of those (*note intentional faulty pronoun reference) I developed a childhood rebellion of all things authoritative, which progressed into an adult routine. Strangely enough I became reacquainted with the term discipline thanks to an unruly child of my own. One day I was lecturing him on the linguistic nuances of the word "discipline." It seemed to me that he lacked it - and I, as his mentor, was determined to help him attain it - through my use of it. "What is it ?" According to Webster's Dictionary, Discipline is defined as " A: training that corrects, molds, or perfects the mental faculties or moral character ...

I celebrated my 20 th wedding anniversary June 24, 2009 in Far East Asia. I never would have guessed that my marriage might come to an end just three short months later - and thankfully it didn't. It all began on a typical Saturday morning with my husband and daughter(16) off to jungle trek at a local preserve in Kuala Lumpur . Usually my son(15) would come along as well, but he was competing at a cross country tournament in Jakarta with his high school. Our younger daughter(12) never went on these "torturous treks" because we had banned her due to her bad attitude (not to say that I would have enjoyed this "fun" when I was her age.)The trek was uneventful, which was a relief since on other trips I had seen two poisonous snakes, gangs of monkeys, and lizards the size of small cats. After our hike we went to a new spot for brunch. My husband,Brian, ended his brunch as he routinely does with a vente mocha from Starbucks. As we made our way down the stairwell in...