Second Honeymoon (2009)

The driver was waiting downstairs promptly at nine in the circular entry of our tower apartments. The morning security guards, Smiley, Chatty, and Jack waved from behind the guardhouse plate glass. I knew they were curious where 1-11-1 A (we) were going and that they would concoct many stories...

"Mam and Sir must be investigating a new job." "Did you see they are with a driver?" "Must be a better job." "Yes, usually Mam drives herself, no white women drive here." "Did you see her hit the gate yesterday after she ran atop the berm?" "No, but I heard about it." "She will have the most accidents in the new year" "No, No, Mr. Jones in 1-6-1 B will have more." "But Mam had four ding ups in 2008 and she only lived here from Oct. to Dec." ...

Ok - maybe they didn't really care where we were going, but I DID! I began to squirm and wiggle in my seat and finally settled on "the dancin' feet" to express my excitement. That way the driver would not see any undignified behavior in the backseat. Brian appreciated me control and humor and communicated in his radiant grin. the grin that has left me panting like a twelve week old Labrador puppy who has just received biscuit and is eager to discover if "Daddy has more?" But he only redirected his gaze out the window. Silence... I intend to submit that car journey to the Guinness Book of World Records as a candidate for the fewest syllables uttered by three confined people in the longest time period, 4 syllables - 162,000 seconds
It was soon to be Brian's 43rd birthday and our 20th anniversary and the celebration of these milestones had been methodically planned into a fitting tribute by my engineer husband.

Grandparents to watch the kids

Business trip to an exotic yet non-family destination

Credit Card (private joke)

We were on our way to Dubai, part of the United Arab Emirates, on the coast of the Arabian Sea, and they have camels. The plane ride would be seven hours. Perfect, some charming banter about the kids - excited planning and perusing the guide book - two movies - a one or two-hour nap - up for dinner - Debarkation!

That's when I noticed my knees, its a little tough to ignore them when every eye in the Dubai airport is looking at them. Not the luring eyes of twenty years ago - no these eyes were filled with the accusations of centuries of patriarchal rule. Not that the women were oppressively dressed, in fact, I saw far fewer black burkas then I expected, although one woman did have on a plastic mask that covered her mouth and encased her nose and forehead. (quite a Silence of the Lambs) Most had on jeans but none, I repeat not one had on a garment that showed any flesh above the ankle. I mean No ONE as the men were equally modest yet disproportionately flamboyant, each one in a resplendent white robe and flowing headscarves of either white, plaid, silk, cotton, terry cloth - wrapped, rolled, tied, spun upon itself or with strips of leather, one strip, poly-braided, jeweled encrusted, gold filigreed both solidified or lax. The variety of headwear was proportional to the variety of men that inhabited an area the size of four thousand American football fields (according to the welcome sign of the airport). The problem was I seemed to be the only one noticing them, while my knees were Esther Prynne on the scaffold. I was blessed to find __________ aka taxi driver willing to drive us to our hotel. When I questioned Brian about our close call he assured me that there was no conspiracy and that we were in the desert now. The point was lost on me too, but my man of few words always makes sense even if it takes me a while to catch up.

Nighttime in Dubai was Sci-Fi, truly Jetsons meets Star Trek. Every building was huge in some proportion, height, length, or decor. the shapes were ones I had seen in Geometry class twenty-seven years ago, but since I barely received passing grades I'd forgotten their names. Elevator shafts were encased in glass on the outsides of buildings and I could watch the shadows of lone beings backlit on their way up, or down. The road was Houstonesque including construction - excluding potholes. The sped rivaled the German Autoban, something that later in my visit made sense when I realized most the people and half the TV stations is German. The merging of cross-cultural, cross-dimensional traffic was beginning to cause a gnawing discomfort in my stomach, that I was determined to ignore as I drifted off to sleep.

The next morning we were up at 8am determined not the waste one minute of "our holiday." (kudos to those of you who realized the four hour time difference made our awakening at 12 noon - as my husband pointed out.) I assured him its good to compliment yourself each morning - its called self-affirmations. Off I went to breakfast in my Marks & Spencer's casual, comfy black and white pinstripe trousers - "No one can fault my learning curve," I quipped to Brian in the elevator. We dined amongst palm trees and swimsuit-clad tourists. Back up to the room the change(sundress with light sweater). Brian volleyed,"Steep curve, honey." Thanks - I think. Off we went to catch the Hop On - Hop Off double-decker tour bus

Dubai by Day - Construction, Brand New, and Big. There is a vague view of a beautiful azure sea that appears briefly between cranes, scaffolding, and thirty-foot fence advertising that promises luxury accommodation/retail to appear soon. There is still a space-age quality to the landscape but an awareness that this "planet" is blocking the most beautiful ocean views dulls the sensation a bit. The sights, however, are truly monumental, A mall with a 400-meter ski slope. A mall with a replica of town souk recreated from a 4th century central underground market in Bahgdad. A mall with an Olympic sized skating rink. A park with a 30-meter high cable car ride for kids... Disney in the Desert, but remember Brian and I went to Disney for our 1st honeymoon? We both found this ironically charming. Then we stumbled into the downtown area. It was getting late in the day but the differences in scenery intrigued us enough to

Hop-Off for a cruise on a Dhou down the Dubai Creek(huge Mississippi type river). The boat was a charming mix of sturdy wooden construction and cheesy Marietta party barge. Dhou's have been built for over six hundred years with no actual drawings - and they still float(no Geometry necessary). The top deck had lovely cushions on the floor in cubbies of four. For a brief instant, it felt as if those of us on deck would each have a relaxing intimate journey on the creek but as one would expect the boat stayed docked for a half hour to ensure that as many Hop On Hop Off passengers that wanted to ride - could...everyone wanted to ride, and not one of us wanted to sit downstairs, entombed in glass. So our romantic cruise became slightly less romantic. But the disappointment succumbed to my overwhelming need for a Tandas,_________, Toiletern, Restroom. There was no one on the boat, not in the plans during the 16th Century. The current distraction had a way squelching my congenial chatter meant to divert strangers from Brian's personal space. My head drooped onto my husband's shoulder defeatedly. I was dazed to watch him wave at the baby next door but I was paralyzed when he offered to take a photo of the entire family I kept my eyes diverted out to sea and my mind focused on not drowning.

The sunset over the spice souk while the evening prayers wafted across the canal was magical I reclined against Brian's chest and asked, "20 years ago who'd have guessed we would be here?" Brian leaned forward and romantically whispered in my ear, "I think the wedding pool concluded we'd wind up on a supper cruise down the Muskingum River, Now, cover up it gets cold here in the desert after sundown." And he was right, the temperature drops drastically after sundown. I looked around and realized not a knee was showing. What a genius I married.

That was it... my honeymoon moment. From that day on I spent my time between the hotel bathroom and bed. I came down with a flu that rivaled any sickness I have ever had.